If it feels like I’ve written this article before, I have. But you can’t really blame me for rehashing this article given that this match between Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar is rehashed as well. Don’t worry, I’ve come up with new worst possible outcomes. It won’t be the exact same article from before. Promise.
The wonderful superfans at Brooklyn (the ones who brought the beach ball last year) will be able to witness a historic match-up. Who knows, maybe this time Roman Reigns will win. Granted, that’s what we said about Wrestlemania. It’s also what we said about the Greatest Royal Rumble. Regardless of whether Roman Reigns wins or not, there’s a whole lot that can go wrong.
A money in the bank cash-in attempt
Suddenly, both Kevin Owens and Braun Strowman attempt to cash in their Money in the Bank contracts. Both of them have contracts because their match ended in a draw, so to appease both men, Kurt Angle gave both men briefcases. Anyway, I digress.
Both men cash in at the same time, but then they yell at each other about who gets to fight Roman first. Unfortunately, their bickering allows Reigns to hit a double Superman Punch on both of them. Reigns then pulls Owens on top of Strowman and then pins both men.
Summerslam goes off air as Reigns stares right into the hard camera as he cocks his fist.
The Management Screws Roman Reigns Over
Imagine this: the match is happening, and for what it’s worth, it’s a pretty good match. A real slugfest. Fans in Brooklyn start chanting “this is alright!” at the top of their lungs. When Lesnar puts Roman Reigns into a pretty weak headlock, people think it’s just a resthold. Suddenly, Vince McMahon, Triple H, Kurt Angle, Shane McMahon, Mick Foley, and a returning Kevin Nash storm down the ramp and ring for the bell. It’s the Montreal Screwjob all over again!
Reigns angrily spits in Vince McMahon’s face before being on the receiving end of finishers from all of the crew. The next night on Raw, Roman angrily says that he knew management hated him. Kurt Angle comes out and says that Reigns can have a rematch against Lesnar if he beats all the people who screwed him over last night in a gauntlet match.
The whole episode of Raw is dedicated to the gauntlet match, which Reigns finally wins after performing seventeen Superman Punches on Kevin Nash. At Hell in a Cell, Roman is about to beat Lesnar when the Undertaker interferes. They feud for three whole months before Reigns finds his way into Universal Championship contention in time for Wrestlemania 35.
The entire locker room comes out and celebrates
As the Universal Championship match rages on, Brock Lesnar suddenly has the advantage. He lifts Roman up for an F-5, but as he throws him in the air, Roman hits a Superman Punch! Brock is left reeling, and Reigns hits him with a Spear. 1, 2, 3, Roman Reigns is the new Universal Champion.
The entire Raw roster then comes to the ring and celebrates with Roman. They all sing “Ding dong, the Witch is dead!” while the Authors of Pain hoist him up on their shoulders and smile. One by one, each superstar takes the mic to thank Roman for representing them and standing up against lazy part timers like Brock. They are happy that there is a full-time champion on Raw. Out of respect, Constable Baron Corbin makes a rule that no one is allowed to challenge Roman for the title. Everyone agrees and claps.
The next episode of Raw is a tribute episode to Roman Reigns. All the superstars talk about how great Roman is and how he’s the best wrestler then, now, and forever.
Brock Lesnar retains cleanly
After twenty three F-5’s, Brock Lesnar pins Roman Reigns to retain his Universal Championship. His next title defense is at Wrestlemania 35. Raw has no champion for eight months.
At the Royal Rumble, Reigns makes history by winning the first ever 60-man Most Greatest Royal Rumble. He also was the first entrant, lasting over three hours and eliminating 25 people. He then cuts the exact same promos against Lesnar, calling him a part-timer.
At Wrestlemania, Roman loses again.
The end.
